Me or You?
by Maz1
Summary: People, I know the first chapter was bad enough, and I know the next four chapters aren't QUITE gold dust, I might try to make them better later.
1. Feelings

Me or You?   
  
Tifa leaned over to Cloud with a smile on her face, "I love you..." she whispered into his ear, he turned to her, and forced it 'I can do it, I love Tifa, I DO love Tifa, I know I do.' "I love you too" her soft brown eyes looked deep into his and she smiled "Really?" he nodded, he was confused, he believed he could love again, and Tifa loved him, why not? Was it so impossible? He'd always love Aeris, but he had to move on, he HAD to, it's what she would've wanted, he knew it was.   
  
It was amazing the way he had it set up in his mind, sort of a 'Yes, I do love another woman, but it's OK to throw Tifa into the midst of it because that other woman is dead.' to anyone else it would be unbelievable, but there again, Cloud always was a great story teller. He'd had so much experiance lying to Tifa, why not add another lie to the list? But this time it was serious, this time it could REALLY hurt her, he shouldn't do it, but he was going to, and it could only end in disaster, but this was what, exactly what, he was going to do.   
  
"Tifa?"   
Her heart beat softly, quickly.   
"Cloud?"   
"Tifa, I love you, but there's one thing I need to know..."   
"What?"   
"Will you..." He drew in a deep breath, this was hard for him, but he thought he had to do it..."Will you marry me...?"   
  
Her face lit up like the sun shone out of it, the smile played on her lips, as she replied,   
"Of course!"   
He smiled at her, as they shared a kiss.   
* * *   
Far, far away, a star shot across the star, blending beautifully in explosion with the Northern Lights and astounding all watchers. A chill wind blew and clouds rolled across the sky, and a young girl with long brown hair, swam from the bottom of a deep blue pond and took a gasping breath as she, fully clothed, hauled herself out and took stock.   
* * *   
Tifa and Yuffie wandered round the store, looking at dresses, Tifa walked over to a pink bridesmaid's dress and began to finger the material as she looked on in amazement, shock, and horror,   
"Tifa, no!"   
Tifa looked over her shoulder, "Oh come one Yuffie, you'll look cute, some nice shoes, a big bouquet, some pretty flowers in your hair, and of course-"   
"Flowers in my hair!? Tifa, I don't THINK I wanna be your bridesmaid anymore!"   
"Nope, it's too late, I'm sorry Yuffie, this is what you're-"   
"OK, can we look around the bridal gowns??? We can decide my dress, later!"   
Tifa sighed, then nodded, "OK."   
* * *   
She climbed, with feet cut by rocks, and blistered with hardships, up the side of the cliff, steadily but surely, not knowing where she was going, but knowing that her heart would guide her, up the cliff and threw the forest, she would make it, she knew she would.   
* * *   
Tifa finished lighting the last candle and stepped back, it looked pretty good, the singla rose in a glass vase, the lace tablecloth, the pink candles, it was so romantic, she smiled, she was wearing a cream strapless dress which went down to her knees, it was silk, 'Everything is perfect' she whispered to herself, and smiled.   
* * *   
Here she was, Costa del Sol, why she was here she had no idea, but there it all was, the sun, the golden sands, everything, she surveyed herself and sighed, tattered dress, blistered, unshoed feet, ragged hair, dusty and bruised, but alive, she was alive. She went to the dress store, then the hotel, at least now she had reached a proper town she could sort herself out.   
* * *   
Tifa smiled at Cloud,   
"Come on, let's go for a walk!"   
"Okay..."   
She tutted and grabbed his hand, almost dragging him out of the house.   
  
Cloud just walked along the street, hand in hand with Tifa, it didn't matter that he didn't like walks, he liked Tifa, and he was trying to make her happy, he was marrying her, whether he loved another, or not. He looked around, taking in the sights and sounds, this would be the perfect place to honeymoon, if they didn't live here. He just walked past the hotel, didn't even notice the face peering wistfully out of the window, or if he did, he ignored it, wishfull thinking, he turned to Tifa, stroked her cheek, leant into her, and kissed her, softly, carefully.   
* * *   
She woke up, she wasn't hungry, she crossed to the window and peered out, stared down the street, and gasped, someone she never expected to see again, someone special to her, "Cloud..." she whispered his name, there he was, walking down the road with Tifa, hand in hand, she bowed her head, they hadn't noticed her, she drew her breath in sharply as she saw them kiss, placed a hand on her heart, it hurt so much, Tifa lookedup at Cloud, then, with a confused expression, said something to him, she glanced around, and saw her face at the window, startled, she knew that the word Tifa cried out was her name.   
* * *   
Tifa smiled, then frowned, "Cloud, it doesn't feel right."   
He looked at her, "What doesn't?"   
"This, I mean, it's like someone's watching us," she glanced around, then saw something in a window, shocked, she couldn't make a noise, when she found her voice, she cried out,   
"Aeris!"   
  
By Maz   
(marylouiseod@hotmail.com)   
(http://www.envy.nu/mirroroflife) 


	2. Aeris

Aeris  
  
So that was it, Tifa and Cloud were together, she'd never had a chance in the first place. She sighed, she had to accept it, all that hardship, pain, was it worth it now she couldn't have the one thing she wanted in return? Maybe it was, either way she couldn't stand here. Slowly she walked to the door and trembling, she grabbed the handle. She was shaking, giving herself a minute to recompose, she pulled the door towards her, and sighed, she walked out. Treading slowly she walked towards Tifa and Cloud, and smiled weakly at them. As she saw the amazement and disbelief subside and smiles take over, she ran towards them and hugged them both tight, as long as they were happy, she was here now and her heart overflowed with love and happiness. Then she stepped back, and confusion flashed over Tifa's face "How did you? When did you? Oh it doesn't matter! You're here and everything's perfect!" she hugged her again, Aeris smiled, Tifa was her best friend, and she could handle the pain, for her.  
  
* * *  
  
So here she was, back at Villa Cloud, in the spare bedroom, staring into space. Maybe she wasn't strong enough, maybe she couldn't handle it. Memories flashed before her and a flood of tears began to stream down her face. She hurriedly wiped them away, Tifa and Cloud were happy and that was all that mattered. She wasn't as tough as she thought, she couldn't stand it. Tifa and Cloud were getting married soon she wasn't able to cope now and she wouldn't be able to cope then. She sighed, what was she going to do? WHAT was she going to do? In her heart she knew what inevitably was going to happen but she wouldn't accept it, she couldn't accept it and she would look, she would look, for other alternatives. 


	3. Tifa

Tifa  
  
So there she was, Aeris, Cloud had seemed so interested in her when she was alive, but then she died, how is she here? Why is she here? She looks hurt...She must've seen us. Poor Aeris. How will Cloud react to this? Maybe it doesn't matter, whatever happens her best friend was here, and she had to enjoy this. As Aeris stepped out and Tifa saw her fully in the light, she was astonished, her hair was loose and she was walking slowly, she was wearing a pink sleeveless denim dress and she looked beautiful, she beamed at her, and Aeris broke into a run, grabbing Tifa and Cloud and puling them into a hug. Tifa smiled, but she was still confused, happy, but confused. "How did you? When did you? Oh it doesn't matter! You're here now and everything's perfect!" She hugged Aeris tighter as a tear rolled down her cheek, a tear of joy, she rubbed it away before Cloud and Aeris could notice.  
  
* * *  
  
Now here they were, Villa Cloud, in the bedroom, she and Cloud, Aeris was downstairs, in the spare bedroom, thinking, she'd wanted time to herself. Cloud hadn't said anything, he'd seemed so confused since Aeris came back, and so, he'd seemed like he was aching, inside, it scared her, what if he didn't love her anymore? What if he loved Aeris more? What was going to happen? She held him tighter, she didn't want to lose him. But could she live with him knowing that he was torn between her and Aeris? Could she live with him if he wasn't completely devoted to her? What if he wasn't at all devoted to her? Or maybe his feelings for Aeris were just as a friend, and he was disbelieving. She couldn't bear it if she had to live with him like this, though, always wondering if it was truly love that he felt for her. Aeris wouldn't take him, not deliberately, and she knew this, but would Cloud leave her? Or worse, would he pretend that he had no feelings for Aeris and then they would be miserable in their relationship and Aeris would be miserable because she couldn't have him. She sighed, thinking these thoughts was pointless, all she could do right now is wait and see what would happen. 


	4. Cloud

Cloud  
  
He couldn't believe it, there she was, now it would begin all over again, he loved Aeris, he loved Tifa, he chose Aeris, no, he chose Tifa, he was confused, he was tired, he didn't know what to do. That was what was going to start again. Yet, Aeris wouldn't mind if he married Tifa, she was a friend and she, maybe, could cope with that. Tifa, however, he couldn't break her heart. If he left her, he'd lose more than just a lover, he'd lose a friend, too. He had to stay with Tifa, but what if he decided that he didn't love her one day? That would hurt her, but what if he decided he did love her? Then he couldn't have her? His mind blurred and he didn't know what was happening, Aeris and Tifa were hugging him, he instictively hugged them back. Tifa tried to ask aeris what was happening, but she broke off and hugged her again. He was sweating, he was trapped. There was nothing he could do.  
  
* * *  
  
Aeris was doiwnstairs, he and Tifa upstairs, and he still had no idea what he would do. There were no options left. Tifa seemed upset, she could tell, he thought, how he felt, he was split in two, one half wanted Aeris, the other half wanted Tifa and he had no idea what to do. If Tifa could tell what he was feeling, she'd be upset, would he lose her? Aeris seemed subdued, maybe she wouldn't be as strong as he thought. He would have to make a descision, and soon, whatever he did he'd lose one of them, but if he didn't hurry, he ran the risk of losing them both. 


	5. Heartache

Heartache  
  
Aeris woke up, she was tired, she ached all over her body, but the thing that hurt most was inside her, her heart ached more than her head, more than her legs, more than the blisters on her feet. An incurable pain.  
  
Tifa shook the sleep from her mind, she was still confused, but she had an idea of what to do, it would be hard. She had to do it. Otherwise she'd never be free, and neither would Aeris.  
  
Cloud ate his breakfast, he hadn't been able to sleep, his mind was buzzing and he hurt. He couldn't understand why, he should be happy, but sadness riddled him like bullets, and he felt a terrible foreboding about the day ahead.  
  
Tifa walked slowly downstairs and into the kitchen, she wanted to find Cloud, she had to speak to him. This wasn't easy for her, and she would take a lifetime to get over it. However, this was something that had to be done, something which would change all of their lives forever, she didn't know whether it would be good or bad but it had to be done.  
  
Aeris got up, and rubbed her arms to warm herself, she was going to let Tifa and Cloud be happy, but there was only one way to drive the pain away, and it wasn't nice, but it would be impossible to do without.  
  
Cloud heard Tifa creeping up behind him. "Good morning." he turned to her, and smiled at her, "Good morning Tifa." She carried on as normal, searched the kitchen and sat down next to him with a bowl of cornflakes. "How's Aeris?" "Asleep, I think."  
  
Aeris wasn't asleep, she was upset, she raised her hands and let a tear drop as she shispered to anyone who might be near, "Goodbye..." Then she brought her hands down hard and fast and the knife swooped towards her and plunged into her throbbing heart. She slumped backwards and closed her eyes as a pool of blood surrounded her on the floor, and she went to sleep for the second time that day, and the last time ever again.  
  
"Cloud I need to talk to you." He was silent, looked at her, then looked to the floor. There was something about the tone of Tifa's voice that really scared him. "Cloud, yesterday," she sighed and tried again. "Cloud, I know you've been confused since Aeris came back, no, more than confused, you've been in pain. I suppose what I've realised is, you don't, can't, love me completely, no, you do love me, but you love Aeris too," she was speaking more to herself than to Cloud, "It's been hurting me and I've decided," she looked straight at him, "Nomatter how much you love me, you'll always love Aeris, too, and maybe other women will be content to be with you, but not me, I'm not content to wait around while you decide you love me more, I'm not content to be with a man who can't love me with all of his heart, I'm not content to be with you while you constantly struggle with whether the descision to be with me was the right one or not, I have to go, Cloud, I've loved you so long, and this is hard for me, but I can't be with you, not now," she breathed in, "And not ever, I'm sorry, Cloud."  
  
THE END (and I mean the end, it's all open-ended and stuff, but it IS finished." 


End file.
